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Observing Your wife’s Beautiful Manners

Observing Your wife’s Beautiful
Abbas Abu Yahya

The noble scholar Ibn Sa’adi -Rahimahullaah- said

‘When a husband reflects over his wife’s beautiful manners and good qualities that he loves about her, and then compares these qualities to those reasons which causes him anger and irritation, perhaps there is some negativity he sees whilst living with her, but it could be that he is focussing on just one or two ( negative) things, yet, in reality, those qualities that he loves in her are much greater.

Therefore, if the husband was just, then he would overlook her bad points which actually disappear and vanish due to her goodness. In this way companionship continues.

As for turning away from good qualities, and only observing shortcomings – even if they are very few – then this is from being unjust, and the husband can hardly be settled with his wife.’
[Bahjat al-Qaloob 153-154]


قال العلامة ابن سعدي -رحمه الله-:

“إن الزوج إذا تأمل ما في زوجته من الأخلاق الجميلة، والمحاسن التي يحبها،
ونظر إلى السبب الذي دعاه إلى التضجر منها، وسوء عشرتها، رآه شيئا واحدا أو أثنين مثلا،
وما فيها مما يحب أكثر،
فإذا كان منصفا غض عن مساوئها، لاضمحلالها في محاسنها،
وبهذا تدوم الصحبة …

وأما من غض عن المحاسن،
ولَحَظَ المساوئ ولو كانت قليلة،
فهذا من عدم الإنصاف،
ولا يكاد يصفو مع زوجته” انتهى

بهجة القلوب ١٥٣-١٥٤