Part 5
Threatening With Divorce
Translated By Abbas Abu Yahya
Taken from
The Fatawa of the Senior Scholars
Part Five
Shaykh Muhammad bin Salih al-Uthaymeen
5 – A man said to his wife if you enter into the house then you are divorced however, he intended to threaten her, does the divorce occur?
Shaykh Muhammad bin Salih al-Uthaymeen
Question:
A person says that he divorced his wife by saying if you enter this apartment you are divorced, he said he wanted to threaten her, so does this divorce take place or not?
Answer:
As for the general Ummah, and a number of scholars who hold the opinion that divorce takes place so that people do not play around with divorce.
All the four schools of thought are upon the opinion that a person’s wife is divorced even if he intended to just threaten her with divorce. If the statement of divorce was the third final one, then she is separated from him until she marries another man, with a desirable complete marriage then that husband separates from her either by passing away or divorcing her or the marriage contract being invalid, only then can she remarry her first husband and this is the Madhab of the majority of the Ummah and all the Imams.
It is regretful that it has become such that the people have become slack and do not care about divorce. A person may divorce his wife for the smallest of matters, if she does not prepare the tea in a quarter of an hour then she is divorced, if she goes to visit her family then she is divorced, if she answers back to me, she is divorced, and so on!!
A marriage contract is the most dangerous of contracts and the one which has the strictest conditions, so much so, that a person cannot enter a marriage contract except with conditions and cannot exit except with conditions. Entering in to the contract desiring marriage, and exiting it with dislike of exiting, it is not like buying and selling. People playing around to the extent that they have become such that they do not care about anything, they say, if you do such and such you are divorced, what if women made the dowry very cheap, how much is the dowry nowadays? Fifteen thousand? Or fifty thousand? Then after that if you have fifty thousand how will you find a woman, you will be knocking on about one hundred doors trying to find a wife. I swear by Allaah, something small or anything similar to that, then he divorces his wife for the smallest issue, SubhanAllaah. this is playing around, this is why we say, if a person says to his wife, if you enter the house then you are divorced as a threat, then when she entered, he has divorced his wife according to which Madhab?
That is the opinion of the majority of the Ummah and all the Imams, Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal, Imam ash-Shafa’ee, Imam Malik, Imam Abu Hanifah, and those who followed them from the experts from the people of knowledge held the opinion.
This matter is not an insignificant issue dear brothers, and it is not allowed to be negligent about it.
However, Shaykh ul-Islaam Ibn Taymeeyah -Rahimahullaah- and those who follow him say:
‘If that person threatening with divorce intended it as an oath – meaning, he took an oath as a threat or preventing or encouraging something – and if he gave an oath, and his wife opposed him then it is obligatory upon him to expiate an oath.’
Shaykh ul Islaam -Rahimahullaah- strengthened this opinion with evidence, any way even if we said that his opinion is correct, and it is the stronger opinion, it is still not allowed to play around with this issue, it is not allowed to play around. For example this is a person’s last opportunity of pronouncing divorce against his wife, and he says if you enter this room you are divorced and this is his last divorce and she enters the room, so according to the majority of the Ummah and all the Imams that they must completely separate.
On the opinion of Shaykh ul Islaam Ibn Taymeeyah -Rahimahullaah- and whoever agreed with him, that she is allowed for him, but he has to expiate an oath.
Therefore, this man now after the woman having entered the room, (ended up being divorced) and has intercourse with her, then this intercourse is adultery according to the majority of the Ummah, and this intercourse is adultery also according to the majority of the scholars. However, according to Shaykh ul Islaam, and those who follow him, if he made an expiation for the oath then intercourse is permissible. Therefore, what does most of the Islaamic Ummah do that it is not permissible for him to have intercourse, and that it is adultery!! This is why I say here, that warn the worshippers of Allaah from playing around with divorce. I say fear your Lord and do not have intercourse with a private part which is prohibited for you. You will be held accountable for this on the day of judgement, retrain yourself, if you do not want your wife to enter this room, then just say I swear by Allaah you will not enter this room, but if she opposed you then expiate, and if she obeyed you then that is what is required.
I also advise with something else, many of the people especially the youth, it is easier and lesser for a person to say to his wife if you do not do such and such a thing ‘then I will divorce you’ and if she does not do that thing then she is not divorced because he did not say, ‘if you do not do such and such thing you are divorced,’ in fact, he said, ‘I will divorce you’, this is a threat and perhaps he will carry it out or not carry it out.
However, along with this I advise that you do not mention divorce to your wife, because divorce is the most hated matter to a woman, if you said this and your tongue is always saying it then perhaps, she will hate you and living between you and your wife will be bad.
Likewise, this word ‘divorce’ should not be on your tongue at all for your wife, no matter how angry she makes you, and if it was Qadr (fate) that you became angry then there is a statement which is a cure, what is it?
I seek refuge in Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan. A man became angry in front of the Prophet -alayhi as-Salat wa Salam- and the Prophet said:
إني أعلم كلمة لو قالها لذهب عنه ما يجد لو قال أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
Indeed, I know a statement, if he says it then his anger will go away: Aoodhu billahi min Shaytan nirajeem’ (I seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan).
Every time you get angry say, Aoodhu billahi min Shaytan nirajeem’ (I seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan), this is because anger is, as our Prophet – alayhi as-Salat wa Salam- said:
جمرة يلقيها الشيطان في قلب ابن آدم
‘‘Anger is a hot coal which is lit inside of the son of Adam.’
A hot coal! Also, the Messenger said:
أفلا ترون إلى انتفاخ اوداجه واحمرار عينيه
‘Do you not see the burning coal in his eyes and the swelling of his veins?’
Where is this from? It is from the boiling of blood by this hot coal which Shaytaan casts into a person’s heart. However, the cure and all praise is due to Allaah, is with the Messenger of Allaah -alayhi as-Salat wa Salam- and what is it? Aoodhu billahi min Shaytan nirajeem’ (I seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed Shaytaan).
If this cure does not benefit then there is another cure which is that if a person is angry whilst he was standing, he should sit, and if he was sitting then he should lay down, and if this benefits then this is what is wanted, and if it does not benefit then there is a third cure which is Wudu, he should make Wudu to cool his limbs and he is relieved from what he has of extreme anger. As for some people, we ask Allaah for goodness, the smallest amount of anger and he intends to divorce his wife or he says I will divorce you. Leave off divorce, you should not say it on your tongue towards your wife at all.’
https://al-fatawa.com/fatwa/34380
Arabic Reference
5 رجل قال لزوجته إن دخلت البيت فأنت طالق ولكنه أراد تهديدها فهل يقع طلاقه؟
الشيخ محمد بن صالح العثيمين
السائل : تقول طلق زوجته بقوله إذا دخلت الشقة فأنت طالق وقال إنه يريد بذلك التهديد فهل وقع الطلاق أم لا ؟
الشيخ : أما على رأي عامة الأمة وجملة الأئمة فإن طلاقه واقع لئلا يتلاعب الناس بالطلاق فالمذاهب الأربعة كلها على أن زوجته تطلق وإن قصد التهديد، فإذا كانت هذه الطلقة الثالثة فإنها تحرم عليه حتى تنكح زوجا غيره نكاح رغبة ويفارقها بموت أو طلاق أو فسخ ثم تحل للزوج الأول هذا مذهب جمهور الأمة وجميع الأئمة
ومن المؤسف أن هذا الحكم صار الناس يتهاونون به ولا يبالون به يطلق زوجته عند أدنى شيء إن لم تصلحي الشاي في ربع ساعة فأنت طالق إن دخلت على أهلك فأنت طالق إن رددت علي الكلام فأنت طالق وهلم جرا
وعقد النكاح أخطر العقود وأشدها شروطا حتى إن الإنسان لا يدخل فيه إلا بشروط ولا يخرج إلا بشروط والدخول فيه مرغب فيه والخروج فيه مكروه الخروج منه ما هو كالبيع والشراء والتلاعب إلى هذا الحد حتى أصبح الناس لا يبالون كل شيء إن فعلت كذا فأنت طالق والله لو إن النساء رخاص كم المهر الآن ؟ كم ؟ خمسة آلاف نعم أو خمسين ألف ؟ ثم إذا كان عندك خمسين ألف متى تجد امرأة تضرب مئة باب والله فايتة صغيرة وما أشبه ذلك ثم يطلق زوجته عند أدنى شيء , سبحان الله تلاعب هذا، ولذلك نقول إذا قال لزوجته إن دخلت البيت فأنت طالق تهديدا فدخلت تطلق زوجته على مذهب من ؟
جمهور الأمة وجميع الأئمة الإمام أحمد بن حنبل الإمام الشافعي الإمام مالك الإمام أبي حنيفة أتباعهم جهابذة من أهل العلم يرون هذا فالمسألة ليست هينة يا إخوان والتساهل فيها لا ينبغي .
لكن شيخ الإسلام ابن تيمية رحمه الله ومن تبعه يقول ” إنه إذا قصد اليمين بذلك – يعني التهديد أو المنع أو الحث – فإن حكمها حكم اليمين إذا خالفته وجبت عليها كفارة اليمين ” وأيد ذلك رحمه الله بأدلة وعلى كل تقدير حتى لو قلنا إن قوله هو الصحيح وهو الراجح فلا يجوز أن نتلاعب في الأمر لا يجوز أن نتلاعب يعني هذه آخر طلقة لزوجته قال إن دخلت هذه الحجرة فأنت طالق وهي آخر طلقة فدخلت عند جمهور الأمة وجميع الأئمة أنها تحرم عليه .
على رأي شيخ الإسلام ابن تيمية رحمه الله ومن وافقه تحل له ويكفر كفاراة يمين .
هذا الرجل الآن بعد أن تدخل المرأة هذه الحجرة ويطؤها وطؤها زنا عند أكثر الأمة وطؤها زنا عند أكثر الأمة وعند جميع الأئمة وعند شيخ الإسلام ومن تبعه يكفر كفارة يمين والوطء حلال ماذا أعمل بشيء أكثر الأمة الإسلامية على أنها حرام وأنها زنا
ولهذا أنا أقول من هذا المكان أحذر عباد الله من هذا التلاعب بالطلاق وأقول اتق ربك لا تطأ فرجا حراما عليك تحاسب عليه يوم القيامة اضبط نفسك إذا كنت لا تريد ألا تدخل هذه الحجرة قل والله لا تدخلين الحجرة بس حين خالفتك فكفر وإن وافقت فهذا المطلوب
ثم إني أنصح شيء آخر كثير من الناس ولا سيما
الشباب يهون عليه أن يقول لزوجته إن لم تفعلي كذا فأنا أطلقك إذا لم تفعل لا تطلق لأنه لم يقل إن لم تفعلي كذا فأنت طالق يقول فأنا أطلقك وهذا وعد قد يفي به وقد لا يفي به
لكن مع ذلك أنصحه لا تذكر الطلاق عند امرأتك لأن الطلاق عند المرأة أكره شيء عندها أكره شيء
وإذا قلت ذلك وعودت لسانك عليه ربما تكرهك وتسوء العشرة بينك وبينها جانب هذا اللفظ لا يرد على لسانك إطلاقا مع أهلك مهما أغضبوك وإذا قدر أنك غضبت فهنا كلمة دواء ما هي ؟
أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم فإن رجلا غضب عند النبي عليه الصلاة والسلام فقال : إني أعلم كلمة لو قالها لذهب عنه ما يجد لو قال أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم كلما غضبت قل أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم لأن الغضب كما قال نبينا عليه الصلاة والسلام : جمرة يلقيها الشيطان في قلب ابن آدم جمرة حارة وقال الرسول : أفلا ترون إلى انتفاخ اوداجه واحمرار عينيه من أين ؟ من غليان الدم بهذه الجمرة التي ألقاها الشيطان في قلبه ولكن الدواء والحمد لله عند رسول الله عليه الصلاة والسلام ما هو ؟ أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم فإن نفع هذا الدواء وإلا هناك دواء آخر إن كان قائما يقعد، إن كان قاعدا يضطجه فإن نفع فهذا المطلوب وإن لم ينفع هناك دواء ثالث وهو الوضوء يتوضأ حتى يبرد أعصابه ويزول عنه ما يجد من شدة الغضب أما بعض الناس نسأل الله العافية أدنى غضب يبت طلاق الزوجة أو يقول سأطلقك اترك الطلاق لا يرد على لسانك من جهة الزوجة إطلاقا .
https://al-fatawa.com/fatwa/34380