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Mother- in -law Wants Daughter to Separate from Husband

Mother- in -law Wants Daughter to Separate from Husband


Shaykh ul-Islaam Ibn Taymeeyah


Translated by

Abbas Abu Yahya

Shaykh ul-Islaam Ahmad bin AbdulHaleem Ibn Taymeeyah (d.728 A.H.) -Rahimullaah- was asked:

‘A woman and her husband have a unity between them, but her mother wants them to separate,  however the daughter does not obey her mother in this.  Is the daughter sinful for what the mother invites her to do?’

He -Rahimullaah- answered:

All praise be to Allaah,  if the woman is married, then it is not obligatory upon her to obey her father or her mother in separating from her husband,  nor in visiting them, nor in things similar to this.[1] 

Rather obedience to her husband, is more of a right than obedience to her parents, as long as the husband does not order her with sinning against Allaah.

‘Any woman who died while her husband was pleased with her enters Paradise.’

If the mother of the daughter wants to separate her daughter from her son-in-law, then she is from the species of Haroot and Maroot (the two Angels sent down to test the people), obedience to her is not complied with in this matter even if the mother makes Dua’ (supplicates) against the daughter.

The exception is that the husband and wife gather together upon sinning, or the husband orders her to sin against Allaah while the mother orders her with obedience to Allaah and His Messenger with that which is obligatory upon every Muslim.’

[Taken from ‘Majmoo al-Fatawa’ vol.33 p.113]

[1] T.N. Note: Here Shaykh ul Islaam is talking about the obligation, however, he is not implying that one should not visit and keep good relations, and this is clearly understood.  Here are some narrations which show the importance of keeping good relations.  And Allaah knows best.

1 – On the authority of ‘Aeysha that the Prophet sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said to her:

‘Certainly whoever has been given a portion of gentleness, has been given his portion of goodness in the world and the hereafter.  Having good relations with relatives, good manners and being good to neighbours blesses your dwellings and lengthens your life.’ 

Silsilah Ahadeeth As-Saheehah No.519 

2 – From Abu Darda from the Prophet -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- who said:

‘The person who is disobedient to his parents will not enter Paradise, nor an alcoholic or a person who belies Qadr (destiny).’

Silsilah Ahadeeth As-Saheehah No. 675

3- From Abu Musa al-Ashaari who said the Messenger of Allaah  -sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam- said:

‘An alcoholic will not enter Paradise, nor the one who believes in magic, or one who breaks relations.’

Silsilah Ahadeeth As-Saheehah No. 678

4 – On the authority of Abdullaah who said that the Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam said to us:

‘Indeed you will see after me people having concern for a portion of the Duniya and matters which you will dislike.’ 

They said: ‘So what do you command us to do O Messenger of Allaah?’

He answered:

‘Give them their rights, and ask Allaah for your rights.’ 

Silsilah Ahadeeth As-Saheehah No.3555